I was sitting in a full waiting room, and I noticed that there was an office door much larger than the others, with a "Barriatric Department" sign on it. The image on the sign is of a fat person with a pot belly sitting in a chair, shoulders slumped and head hanging, progressing into a chubby person that gets up and then a skinny person full of confidence walking. Okay that sounds like something my pot belly and me would like to do... but do they really need to have the barriatric office right THERE, in the crowded waiting room. Everyone will know what I'm here for! They'll look at me and think "Oh look at that, she gave up on herself a little bit."
Why do I think that? People probably think worse things of me just being out in public. I know they do. People have yelled out exactly what they think of me in public before. Too many times to count. "Hey Fatty! Call Jenny Craig!"
So my name was called, I went in and an assistant asked me a bunch of questions, weighed me, measured me...Oh by the way I found that inch I had lost, again! I'm back to 5'7! (Apparently I was 5'6 all of last year during Smartest Loser.) She told me that if I want to have the surgery, I have to stop drinking pop or any fizzy drinks right away. Fizzies could destroy the surgery. No more champagne ever? Good thing I don't like it that much I guess... Obviously I have to quit smoking too if I want this. (Or even if I don't.) When she asked me if I take any vitamins or supplements I answered. She made a "she's crazy" face at the ones she didn't know - Cinnamon extract (to help control blood sugars) and Evening Primrose Oil (to help control my menstrual cycle). She can make all the faces she wants, but I can actually measure the effects of those two supplements with my glucose monitor and with well, having periods at all.
Then she took me to another room to meet with the busy doctor. (He's the only barriatric surgeon in the Maritimes, hence the 3 year wait.) He is a gorgeous doctor. He is not skinny. I thought he would be skinny. His assistant isn't skinny either. In fact, many of the hospital staff are chubby or fat. Why do I feel so abnormal in this world? So anyway, he asked me basically the same questions that his assistant had asked me, and he said that it's up to me to decide between gastric bypass and the band, but that he is slightly leaning towards the band for me. Because I'm not THAT fat. I'm not THAT fat. Can I just please get that in writing, stick it on my lapel and call it a day? hehe kidding. After having researched this to death over the years.. I'm leaning slightly over gastric bypass. But they're going to contact me to attend an ALL DAY information session given by the team - surgeon, assistants, dieticians, psychologists, physiotherapists, and real live success stories.
If I chose to have this surgery, it would happen in approximately 6 months. I asked his assistant if in the meantime I lose a lot of weight again and feel that I want to continue on my own, can I chose to not have the operation later if I originally said yes? She said "Sure, but most of our patients who do that usually end up calling us a year later."
Although the busy doctor told me that I'm not THAT fat, he also told me that if I don't lose a significant amount of weight, it'll be harder to live to 60. If I live up to 60, then I have lived half of my life being trapped in this fat body.
Am I going to go to the information session? Well yes... I've been wondering about WLS for too long to let the busy doctor and his rude-ish assistant let me affect my choice. Do I want the surgery? I don't know. Right now, I'd say that I'm about 70% no 30% yes. For all the reasons that I mentionned earlier, which can be summarized in one word : Fear.
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