November 2011

I can do this.

19 November 2011 By crazymrsnancy 12

I haven’t been blogging that much, because I feel like I can’t really write about the biggest, hugest thing going on in my life at the moment. Most of you (with the private blog password) already know this. I can’t blog about it openly because Steph hasn’t told his parents yet. Steph and I are separated. The situation right now is: Steph is living with his girlfriend in her apartment, and I’m living in our house alone until February 1. That’s when I can afford to move out in an apartment. Then Steph and his gf are going to move in the house. I’m going to live alone. I need to make myself a priority again.

I’m looking forward to living alone, rediscovering myself and my priorities, doing things that make me happy. I’m looking forward to come home to a clean  home as often as I want to. I’ll be alright. I’m alright. I can do this. I’m happy. I have a boyfriend and I’m crazy about him. I’m considering moving to Moncton to be closer to work, chorale, my favourite restaurants, movies, everything. I saw my parents face to face for the first time since telling them on Wednesday. They took it a LOT better than I had anticipated. We all went to my favourite Thai restaurant for lunch, then I went shopping with mom while the boys hung my Christmas lights on my house. I’m SO decorating early, since this is my last Christmas in my house. Mom bought me a really cute pair of slippers, comfy PJs, and 2 amazing smelling candles. That stuff, it’s all good for my soul :) I’ll be alright. I’m alright. I can do this. 

 

LOVE

12 November 2011 By crazymrsnancy 7

 

New admissions and discoveries

10 November 2011 By crazymrsnancy 7

I don’t like cooking. It stresses me out. I have this fear of ‘running out’ of things, so whenever I cook something, I buy way too many ingredients and usually cook way too much of it too. It’s expensive, exhausting, and wasteful. I have an irrational fear of people cutting themselves with knives in the kitchen. I can’t look at someone using a knife. Not even a chef. Or I force myself to while my heart races. I’m a perfectionist who is often disappointed by my own culinary skills. I just enjoy having someone else cook the food. With all that said, since I am a princess living on a peasant income, I do eat most of my meals at home… but a Maple Leaf can of ‘Flakes of Turkey’, 2 oz of old cheddar, and an apple are a perfectly acceptable dinner to me!

I don’t need all those accessories. I still love shoes, handbags, necklaces, earrings, etc. But I recently realized that I don’t need a whole wall of shoes, and enough accessories to accessorize a small village. Yes I like owning nine different pairs of red shoes, but really? I always go for the same pair of red shoes. I own more than one pair of never worn red shoes. And purple shoes. And gray shoes. Etc. I always go for the same white handbag in the summer. I always go for the same sunglasses. I don’t NEED all the extras.

I love the top sheet! I don’t remember how or when exactly, but at some point as a child I decided that I was going to stop using the top bed sheet. All through my adult years, I’ve always discarded the top sheet as soon as I opened a new set of bed sheets.  A good friend recently brought to my attention how nice it feels to sleep with both the bottom and top sheets. Um, wow. What have I been doing? I’ve been sleeping with my top sheet and I’ve been loving it!

Modern Family is hilarious! That’s all.

Going to bed earlier isn’t so bad. I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier. The two or three times that I’ve managed to be in bed before 11pm in the past 7.5 months weren’t so bad. I don’t know if I notice an increase in energy the next day. I don’t think I do. But going to bed earlier is a responsible thing to do, and it must be doing some good, somewhere inside, right?

I need passion and romance. No I don't think that my expectations are unrealistic. I think that I need and deserve passion and romance. I need the kissing, the hand holding, the cheek to cheek cuddling, the flowers, the wining and dining. I want and deserve to be treated like a lady. 

Low Battery

02 November 2011 By crazymrsnancy 5

I’m not doing NaBloPoMo this year. I can’t commit that much time. I can’t commit to that much opening up. I’ve been kind of quiet lately huh? Yeah… I know. Sometimes you can catch me on MSN or Facebook chat if you want to catch up :) I’ve been feeling a little drained. Okay, a lot drained. I feel like my immune system has crossed its arms, stomped its feet and is pouting in a corner. My lack of sleep, lack of ‘me time’, abundance of alcohol and delicious foods, among other things, are catching up to me. It’s time to put myself first again and prioritize my health, well-being and happiness. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it.

You might want to skip this paragraph if you’re a guy. Or if you’re one of those TMI gasping people. I’m feeling so unwell physically, that after what I thought was a routine pap test visit to my doctor’s this week during which I had a tearful meltdown, I’ve decided to take advantage of mind blowing new-to-me information: There IS ONE kind of birth control pill I can take! WHAT?! Yeah. At 32 years old, after 12 years off the pill, I’m back on it. It’s just not a good time for me to have a kid. Maybe it will never be. And that’s okay.

It’s November, and I still haven’t read one full book this year. I’ve been craving reading a book lately. I miss being captivated by a story and letting my imagination run wild with it. But I feel pressured to choose the right book. I need a great read to re-ignite my desire to read again. I would love to read something happy/funny, maybe witty… a happy page turner, that’s what I need. Any suggestions?