Last night, I dreamed that I saw Ayn Rand on the side of the street. It was a sunny summer day, my boss was driving, and my brother was sitting in the back. My boss and I were talking when all of a sudden he spots Ayn Rand walking on the sidewalk and nearly crashes the SUV trying to get a good look at her. I was yelling “CAREFUL!!!” and my brother was saying “Calm down, it’s Ayn Rand!!”. In the real world I’m pretty sure that my brother has no idea who Ayn Rand is. In my dream she had red hair. So I just google image searched her and most pictures are in black and white hehe but some artsy pictures of her show her with red hair. Did she have red hair? Does my boss read Ayn Rand? Why did I dream about this?
February 2012
How'd I get so lucky?
I love today! Love love love! Full bellies, cuddling on the couch watching Shipping wars, I could almost feel my love meter filling up, and my heart swelling. I’ve read my valentine’s day card about twelve times… so far. You guys, you should see what he wrote in it. *swoon!* I keep walking by the kitchen table to smell the flowers that were delivered to me at work this afternoon. Literally stopping and smelling the roses. Do you know what my favourite part of V-day was? Cuddling on the couch in our PJ’s. My head on his chest, my forehead pressed against his scruffy cheek, his left hand holding me tight, his right hand holding my left. The little content sigh we both make during extra tight squeezes. Looking up at him, in his big beautiful green eyes, being silent, just looking at each other, his breaking the silence with a “You’re so beautiful”. That’s not a V-day thing, it’s an everyday thing. How’d I get so lucky?
Sad
Today for no reason, I woke up feeling really really sad. It would have made more sense to wake up yesterday morning feeling sad, as I spent the night having nightmares, stemming from a big unexpected secret telling session on Friday. I woke up earlier than I would have yesterday morning, and shook the willies off by going shopping. It’s comforting. I’m so broke all I could afford was tampons, because that’s what I urgently needed, but I oddly find comfort in randomly browsing Wal-Mart aisles.
Today I don’t feel like going out in public. I don’t feel like getting dressed. I don’t even feel like eating. I don’t know why I’m sad and I don’t know how to shake it off.
I can't stop crying
When we met Chanel, November 1, 2008
Chanel just left with my parents. She's going to go live with her mother, Belle, at my parents house for a year. Because I'm not allowed to have dogs in this building, because I love her so freaking much, because my parents are awesome and because J and I have dreams of moving in together in our own place, Chanel is going to live in Bathurst for a year. I hope she understands that we're coming back for her, and that we're going to go up north to visit her as often as we can.
Well this is all I can write about that. I'm crying too much to see my screen.
A Winter Wedding
We were on the road bright and early on Saturday morning. It was a beautiful sunny day and the three hour drive felt like thirty minutes. The bride was beautiful, the groom was handsome. When they were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. and walked into the reception hall, the music switched to “Sexy and I know it” and they started dancing and the wedding party joined them. Fun! The décor was beautiful. They are both winter lovers. Their engagement pictures were on ice, and I’m pretty sure their wedding pictures were also taken on some patch of ice somewhere. I normally dread family events like that, but this was actually really fun!
We had a blast dancing at the reception! J danced with me all night long again!! <3 It doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing, if we’re together I’m having fun. But I’m so spoiled with all the dancing! I’m grinning ear to ear as I’m writing this. He looked handsome, as always. More than once during the reception, he pulled me close and said “You are really really pretty”. *melts* He got along famously with my family. I think my parents really like him. My dad was really impressed that J likes Acadian music! I also love that about him :) After the reception, after midnight, we had Dixie Lee fried chicken, fries and coleslaw in our rental cottage. Mmmm! We also met my brother’s girlfriend for the first time. She seems really nice, but the poor thing was sick as a dog. They had to leave the wedding early and she spent all night being sick :-s
We had another beautiful sunny drive back down to Moncton. Again the three hour ride flew by, filled with conversations and music. I think I… might actually start to like road trips. *gasp* I know. J is a really really great driver. I feel completely secure being a passenger with him and I don’t worry a tiny bit. In fact, I noticed that when I’m with him my anxiety levels are abnormally low. I feel normal when I’m with him. Scratch that, I feel GREAT when I’m with him. I experienced zero anxiety at the wedding. It took me a while to get comfortable with all the it’sbeensooooolonghowareyouuuuuu! Hugs and cheek kisses, but just having him next to me looking at me like ‘it’s ok baby’, makes it okay.
When we arrived in Moncton, we went straight to the Casino for Sunday brunch. Mmm eggs Benedict! Then we went home and caught up with the PVR, snuggled under a blanket on the couch. <3 I don’t know how, but this weekend has made me fall even harder in love.
Highlights of the Week
Sunrise discovery!
A half snow day!! \m/
Trimming a rockstar's goatee to 'average' goatee length
FTR - This was experimental, I think the long goatee looks badass.
I visited Chanel!!
She's going to Bathurst soon to live with my parents until we can be reunited permanently.
I tried to explain it to her, I hope she understands! xox