I was sitting in a full waiting room, and I noticed that there was an office door much larger than the others, with a "Barriatric Department" sign on it. The image on the sign is of a fat person with a pot belly sitting in a chair, shoulders slumped and head hanging, progressing into a chubby person that gets up and then a skinny person full of confidence walking. Okay that sounds like something my pot belly and me would like to do... but do they really need to have the barriatric office right THERE, in the crowded waiting room. Everyone will know what I'm here for! They'll look at me and think "Oh look at that, she gave up on herself a little bit."
Why do I think that? People probably think worse things of me just being out in public. I know they do. People have yelled out exactly what they think of me in public before. Too many times to count. "Hey Fatty! Call Jenny Craig!"
So my name was called, I went in and an assistant asked me a bunch of questions, weighed me, measured me...Oh by the way I found that inch I had lost, again! I'm back to 5'7! (Apparently I was 5'6 all of last year during Smartest Loser.) She told me that if I want to have the surgery, I have to stop drinking pop or any fizzy drinks right away. Fizzies could destroy the surgery. No more champagne ever? Good thing I don't like it that much I guess... Obviously I have to quit smoking too if I want this. (Or even if I don't.) When she asked me if I take any vitamins or supplements I answered. She made a "she's crazy" face at the ones she didn't know - Cinnamon extract (to help control blood sugars) and Evening Primrose Oil (to help control my menstrual cycle). She can make all the faces she wants, but I can actually measure the effects of those two supplements with my glucose monitor and with well, having periods at all.
Then she took me to another room to meet with the busy doctor. (He's the only barriatric surgeon in the Maritimes, hence the 3 year wait.) He is a gorgeous doctor. He is not skinny. I thought he would be skinny. His assistant isn't skinny either. In fact, many of the hospital staff are chubby or fat. Why do I feel so abnormal in this world? So anyway, he asked me basically the same questions that his assistant had asked me, and he said that it's up to me to decide between gastric bypass and the band, but that he is slightly leaning towards the band for me. Because I'm not THAT fat. I'm not THAT fat. Can I just please get that in writing, stick it on my lapel and call it a day? hehe kidding. After having researched this to death over the years.. I'm leaning slightly over gastric bypass. But they're going to contact me to attend an ALL DAY information session given by the team - surgeon, assistants, dieticians, psychologists, physiotherapists, and real live success stories.
If I chose to have this surgery, it would happen in approximately 6 months. I asked his assistant if in the meantime I lose a lot of weight again and feel that I want to continue on my own, can I chose to not have the operation later if I originally said yes? She said "Sure, but most of our patients who do that usually end up calling us a year later."
Although the busy doctor told me that I'm not THAT fat, he also told me that if I don't lose a significant amount of weight, it'll be harder to live to 60. If I live up to 60, then I have lived half of my life being trapped in this fat body.
Am I going to go to the information session? Well yes... I've been wondering about WLS for too long to let the busy doctor and his rude-ish assistant let me affect my choice. Do I want the surgery? I don't know. Right now, I'd say that I'm about 70% no 30% yes. For all the reasons that I mentionned earlier, which can be summarized in one word : Fear.
Yikes! I am glad you are concerned - it means you have some idea of how big of a deal it is... and I know you are putting a lot of thought into it. Do whatever your gut instinct is - its usually the right one!
I would think it was abnormal if you *weren't* afraid!! You're going about this in the right way, and not matter what choice you make, the most important thing is that you are comfortable with it.
Knowledge is power. This is not something small, so the better informed you are, the better decision you'll be prepared to make.
I can see being 100% sure about doing this and still being ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED. It's surgery we're talking about here, and life-altering in ways that you can't go back on if you "don't like it."
But - this doctor expressed concern about you *living* past 60. I know Canada isn't like the US where doctors push you to do procedures bc they financially benefit from you doing them, so I put a lot of weight (no pun intended) on that. *I* want you to live past 60. I want you to be healthy and happy. If this is something that you view, after soul searching, as your best option to get there, then I support you 150%.
Hey Girl!
Knowledge is power, and it will ultimately lead you to the best choice for YOU, and no one else! Sounds like you have been doing a lot of soul searching. I wonder what percentage of the time your mind is concerned with your weight. How often does your weight hold you back from doing the things you love. Would being a smaller size allow you to live a richer, more active and meaningful life? Would the resulting dietary changes be a burden, or a good reminder of the importance of making a life-long commitment to good eating? So many questions to think about.
I am fully confident you will make the best choice for you. You're a beautiful, smart and loving woman. Making choices to take care of your body is empowering, and I can see your choice (whatever it may be), flowing confidence and joy into other areas of your life where you might currently feel "stuck."
Hugs and prayers!
You are doing everything right. Researching, talking, and really figuring out what YOU want. I know it's a big decision and I wish you luck in figuring things out.
Seems like you got some good advice already. I just wanted to wish you good luck on this journey! The fear is totally normal, or course! Do a lot of soul searching in the meantime and try to find the right answer for you. You are the only one that can make this decision for yourself. Go to the information session and OD yourself on knowlege. Talk to people who have had the surgery...I'm sure there are message boards and forums all over the internet. Even if you've already done all that, do it again, this time with the knowledge that it is YOUR time and this option is finally available to you.
Best of luck, Nancy! I'll be thinking of you! *hugs*
Most doctors frown upon alternative supplements/holistic approaches, it disturbs me very much. Funny how you are leaning towards bypass rather than the band, I probably would lean towards the band since it can be altered at any time.
Well, the only one that can decide this for you is you, but one word of caution? Don't do what my brothers wife did when she got the band. She went back to eating the same foods she ate before (pop, burgers, junk food, etc) and even though she lost like 60 pounds almost immediately (well, very quickly), she gained that back and then some. Just because she was eating less of it (and had to cut it up into tiny bites), it was still not the way to do it.
Hugs girl! You'll make the right choice!
How exciting...and anxiety producing, Nancy! I can't wait to hear more about this as time goes on--your thoughts, your feelings, and all about the info session. I know you'll make the decision that is best for YOU.
I was also going to ask about the financial burden of the surgery. I don't think there's any harm in going to the information session. The fear sounds normal; this would be a huge step that would lead to a smaller you! ;)
My health insurance may pay for many of the options.. but I *think* that it doesn't pay for the band.. I'm not sure.. I will have to ask....
Oh does the procedure cost a lot of $?
I hate rude assistants!! They seem to be in every office. I guess they dont need the bed side manner that the doctors have. And they might think they are glorified doctors and think they know more than the MDs. Bitches.
There are no rude assistants in MY office!! (I'm the only assistant there LOL)
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