Until I had to learn to how to fart ninja style. When I started my new job, one of the stressors for me was only having a public washroom with three stalls as an option. Seriously, ask anyone with IBS! Three stalls is even worse than a lot of stalls. Because there are only three, you'll either see who goes in or who comes out and guess who farted. So you have to try to time it when no one else is in there and look under the two stalls before you let 'er rip.
I have the worst luck for getting the washroom to myself. The worst is walking all the way from my cubicle, which is on the other side of the floor, to the washroom, with clenched cheeks, anticipating the sweet relief of flatulence, only to get there and having 2 other women follow me. What do you do? Do you try to do the fart when they flush thing? I tried once, and my timing was horrible. Do you try to hold it in until they leave, and they end up standing in front of the mirrors forever, flossing and applying lipstick?
I have a small storage room on the back wall of my cubicle, where I keep all the publications, displays, advertising stuff etc. But we also keep office supplies in there. What if I slipped in, tooted my horn, closed the door and sat back at my desk, only to have a coworker come running to the little room for some office supplies and be hit in the face with essence de merde?
How do you deal with colonic melody and its pungent bouquet at work?
OMG this had me cracking up on the couch! :) D. was looking at me like I'd lost it!
I save mine for my trips to the bathroom - I hardly notice the need to let one out. I get into the stall, and pray for something quiet!
Oh Nancy....you crack me up!
Non advice for you. I'm a *wait til they flush* girl, if I can't have the washroom to myself. Which, by the way, only has two stalls. At least with 3 there is some element of guessing. With two if it wasn't you who know who it was!
Oh, by the way, lighting a match will kill the smell. If you can, keep a candle on your desk and keep lighting and blowing it out again (it's actually the smell of the sulphur, when you strike the match, that does it). A matchbook is a good little helper to keep in your bathroom, too. Works much better than air freshener in a can.
LOL you crack me up!
Can't help you, though, I'm usually very quiet about it, but there is enough traffic in my office that you can't really pin it on anyone ;-)
LOL! Nancy, you crack me up. Thankfully, I have my office to myself and if I have to, I have a candle on my desk to cover up any smells. :o)
I usually just sit and pound them into my office chair all day long. If the smell gets out I go for a short walk to the water cooler etc until the smell is gone. Occasionally I get caught!
Thanks for giving me a laugh on this fine friday morning, Nancy! Uhm...I'm a silent farter. Slow and steady is key.
hahaha you crack me up!!!
You should adopt the Ik farting standard. the guys will go into someone else's cublicle and fart next to their chair and then leave. they do it all day! and then there was that person that pooped on the floor of the bathroom instead of pooping in the toilet.
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