It's 11:00 AM. I'm sitting at my desk, trying to decide if going to the washroom now would be a good time investment. By the internal rumblings shaking my internal organs, I know that going to my floor's washroom would be a complete waste of time. That washroom is nearly impossible to get to myself. No matter if it's 8:30AM or 6:30PM, there's almost always someone else in there. The second floor washroom is a safer bet, but it is still my employer's floor, so I do know people on that floor... and let's face it, I always look at the shoes, I'm sure a lot of you do too. AND, I've met third floor coworkers in the second floor's washroom. Oh Hi!, Let's pretend that we both have no idea what the other is doing here!
The BEST place to drop a log in the building is in the public washrooms near the fountain, on the first floor. An access pass is required to go in, so they're pretty clean. Even if someone walks in mid-fart and sees my shoes, chances are pretty slim that we actually work for the same employer and that they recognize my shoes.
But sometimes, you just know it's not an anonymous fart kind of day. You can tell by the rumblings that no one else should be subjected to the sound of that relieving tooting.
Beep.
I open the door to the almost secretive washrooms hidden in plain sight. I slide in and I grab the 'automatic assisted' door behind me to swing it shut, to keep the muggles out. I always do that. I walk the long hall, reach the ladies room, enter, do my usual 'stall feet in the mirror' check... DAMN. White sandals. The type your grandmother would wear.
Okay. Don't panic. You haven't come alllllllll this way to leave without deflating. I walk to the corner stall. I sit down; I hold it in. Why isn't she flushing already? She's been here longer than I have!
[Perfect Silence]
[One minute, two minutes, three minutes, four minutes...]
A third party enters the ladies washroom. She's intruding on a washroom standoff (sitoff?) and she doesn't even know it. When she flushes, I decide to go for it: Toot. Only it wasn't. Apparently I'm a very calm and relaxed person in a washroom standoff type of situation; I PFFFFFFF'ed. That was it. So I decided to let her win. I exited the stall, washed my hands very loudly...She would enjoy that. Nothing is worse than not being entirely sure if you've heard your adversary leave or not. The washroom door hadn't even finished closing behind me as I heard it. She definitely deserved that win.
acant washroom.
Soooooooooo true!!! Could not have said better myself. LMAO all the way through this entry. I also hate it when there are like 6 stalls and someone just HAS to sit next to you!!!!!
This made me laugh out loud. For real. At my desk. Too funny. AND - very well written! Too funny, Nancy!
So true, Nancy! So painfully true.
Oh my goodness! You crack me up!
Ha! I remember those days of trying to have alone time in the bathroom...
Hilarious! This seriously just made me smile on a day that I'm feeling blah! Thanks :)
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